Cutting the Umbilical Cord . . . slowly!!
Dennis Cruise used to say that two supposedly natural functions were
completely unnatural, childbirth and teething. Well, we add another: the
process of separating parent and
child.
It is unnatural in that it is very hard for the parent to let go. The child
seems to want to do so, but the process is so emotionally charged that it is
hard to be sure.
Nick was our first mover. Here he is on the left with
his buddy Gael visiting from outside Paris, near Le Tahu.
Here's a couple of an earlier version of Gael.
For that matter, here are a few of an earlier version
of Nick.
They are sitting on the porch of the house that he moved into, near the
Santa Cruz Wharf. Cell phone, cigarettes, eyes
needing toothpicks to stay open, no shoes, those were the days!! (Fortunately,
we parents haven't entirely forgotten our misspent young adulthoods!).
On the left is the house that he moved into during the summer of
2005 with
the Pacific Ocean about 200 yards away and the Boardwalk
and West Cliff both within easy reach.
On the right is how you can tell that some of the good things in the area are
close. Nick may have moved out, but that didn't stop us going to see him. This
little group, including Maeve Rabinovici as well
as Alban and Alex, is waiting (on
the porch again) to go to the Boardwalk on a summer's early evening. We also
visited to play soccer because the house was 100 yards away from Depot Field,
the best soccer field in town.
Nick then went back to live with his mom in Paris for the first half of
2007, working hard to save up the money to move back to
Santa Cruz and returning for Tom's High School
graduation. He stayed with us for a couple of months, moved into a condo in
town for about five months and then, disillusioned with a predatory roommate,
moved back in with us again for another few months. He'd rather be independent, but the real world has its
challenges. Between his college courses
at Cabrillo and part-time programmer's job, not forgetting the requisite
after-hours occupations, he keeps pretty busy.
Daphné too is only half still
living with us. She too divides her time between college courses and a part-time
job, not to forget the requisite distractions, which in her case include a
steady beau.
She is home no more than Nick, and sometimes less, and recently started
envisaging actually moving out.
Moving out is a long and
complicated process, which has already advanced (and retreated!) in two different ways in
our house.
Alban and Tom finished High School in 2007. Tom has
gone back to live with his mum in Paris for the first half of 2008, maybe
longer. Alban has already started at
Cabrillo, the local junior college, but is not showing any inclination to
spread his wings. Not that we parents are viewed as anything of value, but free
housing has its attractions! When $400 a month is the minimum for a room in a
shared house, we do sympathize. That's a lot of hours of work. But one day,
. . . .
This page is a part of our family history. Others
include the family's blending,
Charlie's arrival and then
Alex's, not to forget our
wedding in there somewhere and their baptism.
Moving to the US, and specifically
to Santa Cruz, are also included, as is the
terrible period of judicially enforced separation
that took two years to resolve. Finally, and logically enough pretty close
before this slowly evolving moving out, the first
high school graduations.
