When Growing Up Changes Course . . .
The two young men on the left here are Alban and
Tom, demonstrating their teenagerhood with their friend Andrew, who is similarly afflicted! They were all
around seventeen in this photo, taken by another of their friends. Note the
cigarette in Alban's hand, if you can look away from the antlers, that is!
We were all teenagers once, of course, but are spared the details from our
own lives because very few photos captured those periods. Somehow, and with
admirable discretion. the camera
disappeared. Not any more! The young people take the photos themselves, and then
post them on their web site of choice. That is where the
parents find them.
Many of the more intense teenage pastimes should remain relatively discrete,
and thus will not grace this page! Some are public. On the right, with his back to us and a lot of hair, is
Nick playing poker in Paris in 2007. You
will notice that most of the visible chips are in front of him! He really enjoys
his poker, unless he loses, of course.
The parents do meet some of our teenagers' friends, principally when they
come to stay. Below left is Alban with his then girlfriend Heather. Note that he has not
taken off his baseball cap, even to give her a hug! it is a question of
priorities.
Dating has changed from when the parents were their age, for the better we
hope. We do not enforce all of the same restrictions that
our parents enforced,
but of course those we do enforce do not meet with their approval. Some things
never change.
Another thing that never changes is the enthusiasm with which teenagers spend
time with the parents. They live at home for much of the time, and their friends
spend a fair bit of time with them at home. But time spent together with the
rest of the family is almost exclusively reserved for special events.
One such event typically occurs on Mother's Day each year, and
2007 was no
exception. All of the children in the area (Nick was in France) dutifully
appeared as requested at the chosen restaurant, the Ideal Cafe on the
sea front
in Santa Cruz. But there was a delay: lots of families had the same idea. As the
meal had not yet started, the teenagers sat on a bench off to the side and away
from us. On the right, here they are watching the volleyball games on the beach
and studiously avoiding the family until the table in the cafe is ready.
Marie-Hélène's foot on the bench served only to aggravate
them, which of course made the gesture doubly satisfying and worthwhile!
On the left is a little advice from the parents on the wall
at home. Needless to say, it was studiously
ignored!
While communication with the older generation is definitely
reduced, or at least takes a lot of work to assure, communication between them
seems to work well. Below on the right is a candid of that kind of communion,
between Nick and Alban in this case, taken during a family birthday dinner in
2007 at Rosie McCann's in downtown
Santa Cruz.
So adulthood approaches. The value of money will be learned
someday soon, as will the value of family. The fickle nature of friendship in
many cases will become clearer, as will the many advantages of cleaning up after
yourself and organizing your life.
In the meantime, we wait!
Here are other phases in the history
of our four older children: Blending;
To Santa Cruz; Missing
You; Moving Out;
Graduations I; and Graduations 2007.
